An Indian Woman's Open Challenge !!!

When Deccan Chronicle approached me with these questions, after I made a video about India's Daughter, this is what I penned down.
 Even though I know DC cannot print all of this, my intention was never to make my video the primary subject of discussion but the reasons behind making it.
 And, here they are..

Reference : http://epaper.deccanchronicle.com/articledetailpage.aspx?id=2343605#

1.    How did you take the decision of making the video?

ü I am actually a blogger. I run a blog called ‘crazynri.blogspot.com.’

ü For almost an year, I’ve been writing about false perceptions of Non Resident Indians (NRIs) lives, Social Issues in Indian society and Women empowerment. 

ü Since I started blogging, there has been a huge support and equal criticism from people. So, I continued to put my opinions out there on social network every time I feel something should be said out loud.

ü We can write about lot of things but certain emotions are only to be told. I’ve always hated how different people perceive Indian culture in different ways. And how they use it as a tool to limit the individuality of people especially women.

ü So, after watching PK movie, which strongly shares my views, I made my first video.

ü And after watching India’s Daughter documentary, I couldn’t sleep that night and started writing a blog. Half way through it, I understood this is not something to be expressed using emoticons. Instead, my true emotion!

ü That’ it. I made a video around 4:00 am and posted it on my facebook profile.

2.    How has the reaction been from your parents and friends?

ü My mom doesn’t just feel proud and happy. She definitely feels like, she finally found her voice!

ü And my dad ! Well, he is the kind of person who tells everyone but me how proud he is of me but when he speaks to me, he would ask “Why do you have dark circles in the video?” LOL !

ü And everyone else are very supportive. They wouldn’t mind the criticism too. They are all used to it by now.

3.   On social media, how has the reaction been like, since the video has gone viral? Did you expect it?

ü I don’t want to come off as a braggart, but this is not the first time I’ve seen something that I wrote or spoke has gone viral. One of my blog posts about NRI lives reached a million views last year.

ü And every time I post something, I receive response from people across the world.

ü So, yes ! I know my video will be seen by many but what I didn’t expect was the flood of messages in my inbox and the rate of how fast the video has been shared. What’s more amazing was, among thousands of messages I received, lion’s share is from men.

ü But, what bothers me is, I wrote a post about “Gender equality and treating men also as equals” on International Men’s day to celebrate men and  it received least response of all of my posts. When a woman is trying to speak for a woman, hundreds of thousands people came out in support but when a woman is trying to speak for men, no one cares.

ü I would love to use your platform to tell people to think about it ! We are not fighting for women alone. We are fighting for gender neutrality.

4.    How many views do you have on the video?

ü There are different platforms on which the video was posted. My wall alone shows around 4,00,000 views and looking at other facebook pages and blog sites, I believe it has crossed 1 million views in the last 48 hours.

ü But, all this not because I said something new or innovative. It’s because they think I have given my voice to their anguish.

5. Have you ever had a personal experience which moved you to make this video?

Oh yes ! Many. Let me tell you a few.

And bear with me. This is going to be really long !!!

Ø  I’ve been groped for the first time, by a security guard working in Indira Gandhi Memorial Museum and Residence, Delhi at the age of 12 when I was looking at the clothes Rajiv Gandhi was wearing when he was assassinated. I remember every detail of it, because neither of those experiences is something I could forget. I said this to my grandmother the next moment it happened, but she couldn’t find the guy around. So, she asked me to be careful and let it go.

Ø  After that, one of my classmates tried to make the same move on me and I slapped him right across the face. Later, he begged me not to tell this to anyone and I let it go because I knew his mother and I knew what my complaint would do to her livelihood. I still regret letting him go that day.

Ø  And the one incident which made me realize that staying calm about these incidents don’t work is, “I was visiting a place called Thogutta in Medak District, Telangana. It was election campaign time and somehow there were lot of Border Security Force people in that place then. When me and my sisters went out, one of those BSF guys who was completely drunk tried to pull our dupattas on road in broad day light. We screamed, and among so many people there, one woman who was selling fruits on the street, came and started hitting him with her slipper.

The most important thing here is, people say “Education makes difference” and yet, the one who came forward that day was the least educated person of all.

When we went home and told the story to my uncle, he managed to get ahold of the guy because we knew he was BSF and we could describe how he looked.

He brought the guy to the police quarters and after a while, all I could say was, he apologized to us crying, and begged us to let him go.

If one inspector could make one criminal pay in 2 hours, how long do you think it's going to take to weed these pigs out with right motivation???

Ø  Since then, number of incidents happened which made me fear and disrespect men. If it is not rape, it is molestation. If it is not molestation, it is domestic violence. If it is not all this, it is inequality in the name of culture !

It might not be fair to fear and disrespect all men because of few. But sometimes, fear knows no logic. Once you have seen such things, you cannot trust anyone the same ever again. You tend to be conscious wherever you go.

Ø  I always wanted to do my Masters in USA but my father has a little fear of sending me alone but he never said “NO” to me. But when I was in final year of my college, a guy approached him wanting to marry me. My parents were dead set against my wedding until I am done with my Masters and started earning for myself.

A few days after this happened, we were travelling from Hyderabad to Khammam in a Volvo bus and I realized a guy who was sitting behind me is trying to put his hand from the gap between the seats. I know this not because, he succeeded in touching me but I know this because, there is no a way a girl could travel in a bus late in the night without fear of what might happen and I could tell he is going to do something.

Before giving him that chance, I switched seats and went to sit with my dad. He then understood what might have happened and said this. “It is not safe for women anywhere. This is why I am scared of sending you to Masters alone. Will it be so bad if you got married and did whatever you want to do with your life? I am not forcing you but just think about it.”

I am not the kind of person who believes that women need men to protect them in every step of the way and neither is my dad. And I still don’t, but that one incident made me doubt myself.

I think, this is why most of the Indian parents and women do what they do. Even if they want to be broad minded and strong, I think such moments of weakness and fear make them give in. What we have is not always an attitude problem but also a circumstantial one.

ü As if everything we go through on roads is not enough, men in our families make it their personal mission to make sure how we dress, who we speak, to and how we live is in concurrence with INDIAN CULTURE without even realizing we are individuals !!!!

ü I grew up in a big family where we had every opportunity money could afford, a best shot at education and a chance to grow up as an individual while being protected by family and friends. I’ve never had to choose between self-respect and life.

ü If a girl like me went through so much in 21 yrs, what would a girl who has fewer opportunities and less supportive people in her life, endures???

ü People say, women don’t fight back. Women don’t bring such incidents to notice.

But, is there a genuine platform for us to do so?

ü All these days, we heard suppressing women’s empowerment in the name of culture but today, 3 people defended rape and murder in the name of culture.

ü So, after watching the documentary, everything hit me at once. I am not just weeping for Jyothi Singh but for every woman or girl who experienced even a second of discomfort because of so many pigs out there roaming free on the roads.

ü Thus, the video.

6.    Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, family and also your stay in India. 

ü I am from Khammam, Telangana. My father owns a Jewelry store in Khammam and my mom is a home maker. I have a younger sister and a younger brother.

ü I’ve graduated with Masters in Human Resources Management.My sister is pursuing her Masters in Computer Science in NJIT, New Jersey. My brother is in his +2 and  is determined to be in Indian Civil Services.

ü I absolutely relished my stay in India. I have a special bond with India beyond being just it’s citizen. I’ve travelled throughout India (every state) including Nepal for almost 7 times

ü  In all those years, I’ve been to Himalayas and I’ve stayed for days together on roads. I’ve experienced everything from the disgusting roads in Varanasi to the ultimate peace in Bodh Gaya. I’ve seen deaths of people travelled together with me and I’ve missed my own death few times.

ü I shared meals with Indian Army on highways and I’ve experienced the extreme hospitality of not just any people but people below poverty line.

ü I’ve missed months of school just to visit places. I can tell you who you should be aware of on Ayodhya Streets and where to find the best Idly no matter where you are in the country J

ü I’ve spent so much time not just living among diverse Indians, but also everything else that makes India a diverse nation. Because of that, I don’t hesitate for a second to tell this, “Because India is such a great nation, it is not a bad thing to say that India has problems that need to be fixed right away ”

ü Although I miss all this staying away from home, I don’t miss being told , how I should live my life by every Tom, Dick and Harry. 

7. How are you planning to take this forward? Do you have your own youtube channel?

ü I don’t have a youtube channel. When I made the video, I did it out of pain and in support of the protest against the ban of the documentary.

ü But, after looking at few questions and ignorant comments such as, “Where did you get the statistics from?” (ICRW by the way) or “What right do NRIs have to comment about India?” (What the fuck?)  or the best of all, “The lawyers are paid to speak like that in the video”, I decided to not end this here.

ü I will continue to speak !

ü I will continue to speak until we as a nation admit we have a problem and telling out loud we have a problem, is not a humiliation !!

As per solutions, I  have a few ideas that could actually help to eliminate root causes.

1. ‘Right to free speech’ should not apply when talking about rape and gender equality. There were number of politicians and public figures who publicly expressed disrespect towards women. If these 2 lawyers are being served notices, so should these morons.

Asram Bapu, Babulal Gaur, Kailash Vijayvargiya, Ramsewak Paikra, Abu Azmi,Puri Shankaracharya,Ranjit Sinha (Former CBI Director),Om Prakash Chautala, Sakshi Maharaj,Mohan Bhagwat,Asha Mirje,Botsa Satyanarayana,Dharambir Goyat,Murli Manohar Joshi,Manohar Lal Khattar, Mamta Sharma,Mamta Bannerjee, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Nanki Ram Kanwar, Rajpal Singh Saini, Ramanandacharya Raghvacharya, Ritu Tawade, Satyadev Katare, Satyapal Singh, Sheila Dixit Meenakshi Lekhi and Sharad Yadav.

 All these people who spoke bull shit in public about women and their rights should be stripped off their duties and be hit with slander, defamation and gender inequality suits and issued SUO MOTU notices !

I myself will file a complaint if I find a lawyer who can help me !!

2. 2000 crores, allocated to Nirbhaya Fund should be accounted for every rupee they spent and in 12 months, India should show the progress where these funds were invested. And a progress report should be released after every not month, week but day !

“How much fucking money did you spend for protecting women today??”

3. If the documentary is banned because it is offensive to women, then parts of Bhagvadgita, Quran and Bible where a woman is called someone who is submissive should be banned too.

4. Appoint a representative for every small village, town and city for executive Nirbhaya Act with no mistakes.

5.Armed forces should not be given any special consideration in cases of sex offenses.

6.Minors above age 13, in sexual assault cases should be prosecuted as adults.

7.If India is a democracy, “How to kill a sexual assault criminal?” should be put to vote.

8.Mithali Raj, captain of Indian Cricket Team should be given full power within BCI to make decisions for Indian Women Cricket Team. (She and her team are living proofs of inequality in India) and every woman sports player should never ever complain of inequality.

9.Women of all ages should be allowed to enter Shabarimala Temple. (Whoever framed this rule should simply die !)

And finally,

 10. Every person who has an opinion of what Indian culture is, or how people should behave according to it are just opinions and perceptions. All these days, we couldn’t see how much damage is being done just because of these false perceptions.

But, today the same false perception killed one of our own !!!

ü Does anyone actually know what Indian culture is and where women belong in it?

Absolutely not !

Because, Indian culture is an evolution of lifestyle and values !!!

Not a set of rules !!!

ü If Indian culture is as important as people say it is to us, why not inculcate the same values in education?

ü If it deserves more attention than Sachin Tendulkar or Karl Marx, how come we as kids never were taught about it??

ü If Indian culture is not something to be taken lightly, why not punish people who speak shit in the name of it???

Can Indian government or legal system do any of this?

Does it have balls??

Ready to accept an Indian woman's challenge???

(Out of 3324 messages I received, 2246 were from men alone and 95% of them were just a bundle of support and love. Hats off to you guys  !!!

 I would like to include one from all those, which moved me a lot.)

“Annapurna I am sorry! I wanna start this message with deepest apology because we as men could not protect women as expected from Indian culture. We and our mentality is alone responsible for these crimes. I feel ashamed of all this. Although I have no sister but I certainly understand the respect which I failed to give you. I feel the pain too when a girl is being teased, beaten and raped. I do not know you but I am with you in this. I am very proud of you. Although I understand that you have lost some hope, but sister, I promise to work hard to bring back your faith in this country. Please do not stop and neither will I. We are not a great country anymore but sister I give you my word that I will do everything, like you, to make it  a better place. On this women's day, I want to give you a hope that we and other like us will continue to work till you are proud of India and every girl is proud to be called India's daughter.”

You don’t need to be sorry because you couldn't protect. 

We don’t need protection. 

We need help.

 Help to fight with you, for us !

He For She & She for He !!!

Long live Gender Neutrality..

Thanks,

Annapurna Sunkara